Dear Dr. Buckingham,
I was reading one of your articles online at Black and Married With Kids. I have a question and/or need some direction on where to go for help in restoring my two year old marriage.
My husband told me of the affair two days post our annual anniversary trip with two other couples/friends. The news came to him by way of another couple that we know. A woman had a two-week-old baby that she claimed to be his. So he was basically forced to tell me before someone else did and said he had no knowledge of impregnating this woman.
He finally told me she was someone who works at the same place he works but in a different department. It’s so hard for me to believe that he hadn’t seen her at anytime since he had sex with her. Although I don’t believe she said anything to him about the pregnancy, because I think she wants to have him in the way I do. Her mother also works at the same place and told one of his family members that she didn’t tell him because of his situation but yet she told someone that knows our friends to make sure it gets back to both of us. Either way, it hurts. He claims it happened once and he made a terrible mistake, of course.
My question is, Can A Marriage Survive Infidelity that Results in Childbirth? Can my husband be trusted after putting my life on the line, having unprotected sex and also with this baby?
I know counseling is paramount but what type of counseling? Where do we look? Should I stay with him? Should he or I move out? I want to work things out but I’m not sure how to trust him. This will either make our marriage stronger or kill it. I’m confused.
Thanks in advance,
Betrayed and Confused Wife