Written by Karen Bontrager
Being on a first time date requires much effort on an individual’s part because the overall objective is to appear confident and well put together. With this goal in mind, a person will spend a considerable amount of time choosing the perfect outfit, and getting ready. During the entirety of the date, they will be extremely nervous about their own conversation and actions. And when the evening has ended, every detail will be laboriously scrutinized; from the choice of venue and dinner selections to the errors and omissions of both parties.
The above scenario is what typically occurs on a first date for many people, but what tends to happen to so many of us who are not engaging in these first time experiences, or who are not currently involved in relationships? I cannot speak for men, although I am sure that they suffer as well, but the research is clear that many single women, both young and old, waste that precious time lamenting over couples in love, watching Netflix, and eating excessive amounts of junk food, while feeling overtly emotional. Please, do not condemn yourself ladies if this has been your weekend routine for the last month, year, and/or decade. For the males who are reading this, who have similar but not the same coping mechanisms, imagine that there is a different, more positive perspective to be had about being single. Consider, for a moment what would be possible if right now you could learn to expend your unused, positive energy of being with that exciting, first time date on you because you knew the Five Tips for Dating Yourself. How would your attitude and life change with such a mindset? Realize that if given some time to adjust to this new way of thinking, you could get as excited getting to know and admire you, as that person potentially sitting across the table.
Here are 5 Tips for Dating Yourself (You Don’t Want to Miss).
Get acquainted with this concept of dating yourself.
Since you may not have thought about being single in this positive manner, it will take some time getting adjusted to the idea. (Parents, talk to your teen or college-aged child about enjoying this stage in their lives. Explain that this period will not last and should be cherished).
Consider the first date with you.
Spend time imagining the possibilities of being able to be alone with yourself and actually enjoying the experience of getting to know you. What comes up? Are you uncomfortable by the mere thought, or are you feeling positive about giving yourself the permission to be with whatever is there?
Start to journal.
Writing down your thoughts every day will help you reflect upon the things that you are learning about you, which will help you appreciate yourself more.
Begin to take into consideration your likes and dislikes.
If you have never thought about what you wanted or do not want, start today. Use your past as a benchmark. What activities and individuals have made you happy and brought enjoyment into your life, and how can you incorporate more of these people and things into your life currently?
Be merciful with your ability to adjust.
If you are not used to being single, do not condemn yourself for being upset or feeling lonely occasionally because old habits die hard.
Dating someone for the first time, whether it is another or you, takes some getting used to in the beginning. However, if you decide to date yourself, you may discover that you are a truly, special person that has much to give another if you learn to first give to you.